Before sharing about myself, there are a few important things in Guatemala’s history that are important to my story.
“Guatemala went through a civil war between the state and leftist rebels, a three-decade struggle that, from 1960 to 1996, was the dirtiest of Latin America’s dirty wars.”
“After the peace accord, the state’s security apparatus—death squads, intelligence units, police officers, military counter-insurgency forces—did not disappear but, rather, mutated into criminal organizations. Amounting to a parallel state, these illicit networks engage in arms trafficking, money laundering, extortion, human smuggling, black-market adoptions, and kidnapping for ransom.”
“In Guatemala, more than 2,000 children are adopted through an illegal process every year.”
When I was six years old, my mother sat me down because she wanted to have a conversation with me. She began to share with me about her ”job” and what she had been doing in order to provide us.
She was one of the nurses that took care of babies who were meant to be given up for adoption in the black market in Guatemala. During her time as a nurse, she stole me from an Israeli family who had paid $50,000 to adopt me.
She started to cry and I had no idea of what was going on. She looked at me and asked for forgiveness. “You’re one of those babies” she said.
I don’t remember exactly how I felt, but I asked her about my biological parents and she told me that she couldn’t find them.
Two months after having this conversation with my mom, she passed away. I loved my mom and I always will.
A year later when I was seven, my father succumbed to alcohol and left home. With both of my parents gone, my aunt took care of me. I ran away from home at the age of thirteen and I lived on the streets for a couple of weeks. During that time, I wrestled with a lot of rejection from my family because I knew that I was different from them.
The pressures of the streets got to me, and by the time I turned 17 I had what every empty and orphaned heart wants; recognition, money, power, and a wild life. But for some reason I did not want any of it. I had a big desire to run away from everything.
I struggled and fought with depression, drugs, alcohol, suicide attempts and all those things are meant to destroy God’s creation.
Even though I went through all of these pains and heart aches, my heart never stopped yearning to be loved.
Six years ago this story had a 180° turn, God found me! So broken and in need, with so many missing blockages, blockages of honor, LOVE, obedience, respect, and the list could go on. For several reasons as you can tell, I had to “take care” of things at a very young age. I became a very independent person, and the orphan heart in me was noticeable from a thousand miles away.
A week before I turned 19, my prayer was to surrender every single piece of my life to Him and to invest myself wholeheartedly to KNOW him deeply. To share with whoever was on my path about the LOVE that saved my life.
This has been such a great adventure, In 2009 I received a two years training in missiology and theology, I’ve traveled all over Central America sharing the heart of the Father and did some school/hospital/Orphanage ministry for over four years now.
While I love everything related to art, music and business, I decided to stop school and business and to give all of myself to this call to missions. It’s been interesting to see how God is driving my life and how His love is transforming my heart to walk in a place of sonship where I can walk confidently, knowing that the desire of our Father is to give us the best of the best and that to have Him is to have it ALL.
During this time, our good Father is teaching me how to be a son, how to walk away from the performance, to stop trying, to stop looking for approval or attention, to STOP FIGHTING TO HAVE A PLACE IN SOMEONE ELSE’S TABLE and to just BE.
He’s been teaching me that, WE ARE HIS image and likeness, and also, that a transformed heart can change nations! And that the best way to find myself is to find Him inside of my heart and to KNOW who He is in me.
In the process, I’ve seen that everything is part of a PERFECT PLAN. That it is not up to us to choose the place we are born, nor the family, social status or any of these vanities. This life is a GIFT, we BELONG to a place, and we BELONG to someone. We’re here for love – to love and be loved.
Is there anything you’re struggling with?
